From the album Dose Your Dreams, out October 5, 2018 on Merge Records.
I see guys at night drinking in bars,
Talking to girls and driving cars.
They heard about this place from a magazine,
One of their best friends has been.
They all laugh and joke like there’s nothing wrong,
Like they are right where they belong.
She met a guy, they went on a date, she liked him,
But it was getting late. He called again, but she let it ring.
She needs a little more time to think.
She reads the paper on the train, a guy stares the entire way.
He got a job right out of school, his place is small,
But it has a pool. It’s just a couple of stops away,
He feels a sadness that he can’t explain.
It’s hard for him to have fun – his mother died when he was young.
Yesterday I had a life, I had a home, I wore a smile to sell my soul.
My tie was blue and my shirt was white, so why can’t I figure out
How to feel alright? I know this could be mine again,
If you would just tell me what I need to change. I’ve seen enough,
I’ll never go back, I’ll never get my life back on track.
They all say so much, but say nothing at all,
The world is so big and I feel so fucking small.
And then I think to myself and sigh, how can you really give up
If you never tried? One day I called in sick, but I was right outside,
I just sat down on a bench and cried. I saw this child
Playing in the street, his whole life right there under his feet.
I knew that what you do, that’s all there is, but then I went
Upstairs and sat down at my desk. I don’t fit in, but I don’t feel bad,
You can’t miss a feeling that you never had. I know it’s a sham,
But it seemed so real, that what I had to be, isn’t who I am.
The man I see, he would never dream, I just took the life
They handed me. I remember this like it was yesterday,
Even though it now seems so far away
I’ve learned much more than he’ll ever know,
So what do we do now, and where do we go?